27 August, 2015

Fwd: Down Downs #1116 and directions to #1117

Heeelllloooo WANKERS!  This weeks religious advice.  Q: How was the Roman Empire cut in half?  A: with a pair of Caesars!

OK now on the unimportant stuff, Hash MCXVI #.

 In attendance: 

The hare: Roadkill and Dry Rub

The pack: CCM, Just Bill,  Deliverance, Just Lesly, Cum Union, Double Entry, MD.

A small Toga Clad group gathered together in Habima Square (totally normal) to look for the light pink, barely still there marking, which was our trail… we ran, stopped for beer, ran played on a playground, ran, got laid (I told a pregnant lady I'd give her one, but apparently she already had been), ranà Half POINT…stopped drank a beer.  Ran more, party hat stop, ran, MISSING blower stop, ran, raced- tied shoe…came in last. 

And from the walkers...:The pack gathered at Ha Bima at 5:00.  After a chalk talk the pack was off....to nowhere.  It seems that the first markings were hard to find and the pack had to be gently guided down the escalators to the parking lot where the markings were located.  There was Beer On Trail so it was a happy group that arrived at the midway point near the Dizengoff Mall.  THe walkers were schelping "Bill" so there was more beer available at the half.  Then it was on back to the Ha Bima.  I lost the list for the down downs so I will recreate it from memory (ha!). 



AND THEN WE SANG:

FRB: Cum Union?

DFL: MD

Returneeze: Cum union, Dry rub, Deliverance

Peeing:  Caveman
Best Toga:  Double Entry - who seems to enjoy being Caesar

Racist behavior: MD and Cum Union

For not wearing Toga's: Cum Union, CCM àdeliverance for not bringing CCM a toga like she said she would


I know there were other accusations but I don't remember

Just Lesly and I drank out of our shiny new socks, and me from my shiny new shoes (delicious!!!)

Finally some idiot re-a cop/ maintenance guy yelled at us for drawing on the concrete (Hello!! The kids there do it all the time!!!- Just cuz we look like grown-ups does not meant that we act like them…duh? Did you miss the toga, flower lay, and party hats?!? Dude, I just drank out of my Frigging Shoe!!!)

 

Hash Run #1117 (via deliverance)

A: will begin at the Alliance School in Ramat Aviv, 26 Reading Street at 5:00 PM. Just put Alliance School, Tel Aviv - Yafo into your Waze. Any questions, call Deliverance at 050-263-4684 or just use your Waze. See you there.  If you have socks - wear them

ON-ON

-MD

 

--
On-on!
Hash Scribe

20 August, 2015

1115 DD and DR to 1116 :p

Heeelllloooo WANKERS!  This weeks religious advice.  Q: Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey? A: Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork!

OK now on the unimportant stuff, Hash 1115#.

 In attendance: 

The hare: Roadkill 

The pack: CCM, twiny, Just Bill, poposchnizel, COMB (cums on my buddy), MD.

We gathered together and started to bitch about Shitty Tel Aviv drivers, and while we had half a mind to just stay bitch and drink…instead we ran.  With some of us armed with water guns, we ran through the beaches squirting random passed out strangers, then ran into the park where we assaulted others.  There were many beers and photo stops, and while there should be images to prove the hijinks, because we were warned not to bring our phone because we would get soaked.  We met up with Twin Peaks and Just Bill at half point who were walking around looking homeless, then stuck our fingers in our ear, rears and beers, and finished the trail zig-zagging our way through the shopping center (Shop keeper: SliHa?!? US: It's OK were just passing through…)

AND THEN WE SANG:

FRB: MD

DFL: CCM

Shitter's: pretty much everyone

For being a bag lady: Twin peaks, and Just Bill

Racist behavior: MD and COMB

For not drinking in circle: Popo

I know there were other accusations but I don't remember

 

Now to the most important part:  Hash #1116

A: Habima square (https://goo.gl/maps/7bxZw)

Hares: Roadkill and Dry Rub

Lost? Call RK@058.689.9880 or DR@ 972.54.971.6773

ON-ON

-MD


--
On-on!
Hash Scribe

07 August, 2015

TRASH TAKE OVER!!!!

Daer Hashers,
I have now infiltrated every aspect of the the HHHH.  Next up, I will take over the world... BWAHAHA **cough** cough** sorry to much fun...

ON TO: Last week run number 1113
Hare: Puppy-love-machine
the trail: A shitty J-town hash. Way too much flour, not enough play stops, way too flat, and not enough skin being ripped from our bodies on the playground slides. 
The down downs: FRB-MD, DFL- (I forgot), then we all drank for shitting on the trail. Just Guy was a returnee.

NEXT HASH: 1114
I'M BAAAACCCKK! Since our new hare roster has not been solidified yet, I'm taking its opportunity to break in YET ANOTHER VIRGIN!! ( that's number 5)!!!. That's right wankers Just Leslie is pop'in her first trail. Follow the URL below to A (sorry- it's a parking lot close to the TLV port so it doesn't have a proper address). We'll do our best to make it one of the coolest trails of the year!!
Lost? call MD:053.280.5002


ON-ON
MD
P.S.- It is going to be ridiculously hot out tomorrow. bring hat sunscreen water etc.  Trail will be weather appropriate.  

--
On-on!
Hash Scribe

25 July, 2015

Down-downs for Run #1111 - Directions to Run #1112

IMPORTANT!!! PLEASE NOTE CHANGE IN START TIME!!! 
DUE TO THE HEAT, RUNS WILL START AT 17:00 THROUGH AUGUST

Wankers -- Red? Who said red? I'll take some of that. And we did, and it was good. And there was much rejoicing. And then we ran. We ran for hours. Uprooting trees, shrubs & flowers. Like Viking, who poured beer on his head. Head? etc., etc. 

Down-downs for Run #1111 - RED DRESS RUN!!!

Hares:  Magically Delicious and Dudley Do Lube
FRB: Cummunion
DFL:  Just Carlos
Returnees:  Just Laura, Spit or Swallow, Fluffer, Twin Peaks, Deliverance, Viking, Toe Job, Just Lesley, Just Daniel, Afterbirth, Roadkill
Virgins: Just Carlos, Just Sandra
Visitors: Viking, Toe Job
Pissing:  Just Daniel, Puppy Love Machine
Shortcutting: Elaine...? RA did not record her Hash name and says sorry. 
Hash Gear: Viking
Breeding Hash Brats:  Fluffer, Spit or Swallow
Toupe:  Cummunion
Anniversary: Afterbirth and Roadkill
Late:  Puppy Love Machine
Fuck Off:  Ghaddafi 

Directions to Run #1112
The hash will start from the end of Harel Street in Mevasseret Zion. At the second roundabout (which is also the end of the road) there is a carpark. 

Date: July 25, 2015
Time: 17:00 (5:00 pm)
Place:  End of Harel Street, Mevasseret Zion

Lost? Call Crocksucker at 054-747-1914

-- 
On-on! 
Boston Creamed
Hash Scribe


16 July, 2015

Down-downs for Run #1110 - Directions to Run #1111

IMPORTANT!!! PLEASE NOTE CHANGE IN START TIME!!!
DUE TO THE HEAT, RUNS WILL START AT 17:00 THROUGH AUGUST

Okay, Wankers -- Received no reports about Run #1110 although there are some disturbing shots on Facebook of Hashers abusing playground equipment. We may assume there was an FRB, a DFL, and someone probably either peed on trail or accidentally wore a hat in the circle. Shame on you.

And now, without further ado... you asked for it, you got it.
RUN #1111 -- THE RED DRESS RUN!!!
It's here! It's here! It's finally here!!!!!!

Our Hare writes: RUN # 1111 is finally happening!!! To celebrate this momentous occasion, we shall don our red dresses and run through the streets of Tel Aviv, whilst drinking our favorite beverage!!! Starting point A will be at Rothschild 6 (i.e. the large plaza at the end of the blvd). We will meet at the far corner of the plaza, and to not offend the general public with our acts of indecency (or at least minimize the damage). The birthday boy DDL, after having recovered from his bi-annual drinking, will be setting with me. It shall be one of my shitty-est trails yet, with lots of spots for people to wank out if need be. On after will be at The Dancing Camel Florentine … That's right! Magic promises great beer and great times will be had by all!!

Directions
Date: July 18, 2015
Time: 17:00 (5:00 pm)
Place:  Rothschild 6, Tel Aviv
Map: https://goo.gl/maps/5t2hb

Lost? Call Magically Delicious at 053 280 5002

Updated Hare Roster*
Hash# - Date - Hare
#1112 - 7/25/2015 - Crock Sucker

*SOS - where are you...?


--
On-on!
Boston Creamed
Hash Scribe
www.israelhhh.com

10 July, 2015

Down-downs for Run #1109 - Directions to Run #1110

IMPORTANT!!! PLEASE NOTE CHANGE IN START TIME!!! DUE TO THE HEAT, RUNS WILL START AT 17:00 THROUGH AUGUST

Hello Winkety Wankety Wankers -- Here's the report from last week's run from our field correspondent (and Hare), Gadhafi.

"More than a dozen hashers braved the heat and hills of Jerusalem Saturday to attend Hash #1109. The Tel Aviv delegation arrived a half-hour early but they had been drinking. The trail coursed up a few hills and through the newly refurbished Gazelle Park. The walkers moved the beer stop to a shady spot close to the entrance and collapsed on a tarp. Some walkers said they saw a pair of gazelles at the watering hole. The only gazelles seen by the runners were of the two-legged, beer-swilling genus. That's all I can remember".

Down-downs for Run #1109
Hares: Gadhafi, Hot Box
FRB: Thumbelina
DFL: Boston Creamed
Shitting on the trail: Almost everyone
Pointing: Gadhafi
Returnees: Gadhafi, Hot Box, some more
Pooping on the Trail: Poposchnitzel
Dog Discrimination: Gadhafi, Puppy Love
Child Abuse (this should be a career recognition award): Crock Sucker

GET READY... RUN #1111 IS COMING!!! RED DRESS RUN IN ONE WEEK!!!

Directions to Run #1110
Date: July 11, 2015
Time: 17:00 (5:00 pm)
Place:  6 Sheetrit St. The parking lot at the Olympic Stadium, adjacent to  the le-gen-dary Arnold's restaurant. Legendary!
Map: https://goo.gl/maps/ZlDK9

Lost? Call Double Entry at 054 790 9034
 -
Updated Hare Roster
Hash# - Date - Hare
#1111 - 7/18/2015 - Dudley do Lube (with a little bit of Magic) - RED DRESS!!!
#1112 - 7/25/2015 - Crock Sucker
After that,who knows. Sending out an SOS (hint, hint...)

--
On-on!
Boston Creamed
Hash Scribe
www.israelhhh.com



--

On-on!
Hash Scribe

02 July, 2015

Down-downs for Run #1108 - Directions to Run #1109

Hey Wankers: It was hot, it was a shitty trail, much beer was consumed, we sang some songs, did the Down-downs, and that was pretty much it.This coming week: a Fourth of July run!

Down-downs for Run #1108
Hare - Fluffer
FBR - Captain Caveman
DFL - Just Martha
Virgins - Just Laura, Just Martha
Returnees - Fluffer, Kneesus Saves, Pregnant Pause, Roadkill
New Shoes (sandals, really) - Kneesus Saves
Fraternal Twins / Fashion Police - Just Laura & PopoSchnitzel (Texas tees), Magically Delicious & Roadkill (dupli-kilts)
Misnaming - Flugger, Magically Delicious, Kneesus Saves
Beer Abuse (Can this be? Can't read the RA's scrawl. Well, whatever...) - Magically Delicious. Captain Caveman
Lollygagging on Trail - Boston Creamed

Announcements
RUN #1111 IS FAST APPROACHING!!! GET YOUR RED DRESS READY...

Directions to Run #1109
Date: July 4th, 2015
Time: 16:00 (4:00 pm)
Place: The parking lot on David Zvi Pinkas St., near the Sulam Yaakov Garden, Jerusalem
Map:  https://goo.gl/maps/9aLCU

Our Hare writes: We meet at 16:00 hours Saturday at the parking lot on David Zvi Pinkas St., near the Sulam Yaakov Garden in Jerusalem. It's a small park off of Ha-Rav Herzog St. between the Botanical Garden and the Stadium road. Here are the coordinates I get from Google Maps but I am not sure they are accurate. We started there once before a few years ago: 31.763014, 35.199080

Any questions, call Gadhafi: 054-697-7748.

In closing...
Look what we got from the Stockholm Hash! Sometimes junk mail can be fun!

WELCOME TO THE JUNE

NATIONAL DAY & EUROVISION SONG CONTEST TRASH

 

 

SEE BACK ISSUES ON FACE BOOK THE HASH TRASH

https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Hash-Trash/323459884358181?ref=hl

OnOnMaliBog

--

On-on!
Hash Scribe

24 June, 2015

Down-downs for Run #1107 - Directions to Run #1108

Okay  Wankers --

Since Hash Scribe was also the Hare last week, she actually has the information needed to write up the Down-downs for Run #1107. Except we dispensed with Down-downs in favor of some fine Italian food in a rustic, woodsy outdoor setting (aka: picnic table next to the parking lot). Anyway, either PLM or Gfather was first, Toe Job may have been DFL, and Crocsucker was a heroic child-abuser, pushing two kids in a stroller up a 45 degree incline. The trail was shitty but short.

Directions to Run #1108
The Hare promises that the trail will be equally shitty this coming Saturday, if not more so, because he wrote it in caps like so: SHITTY.

Date: June 27, 2015
Time: 16:00 (4:00 pm)
Place:  Hakovshim Garden, Tel Aviv
Map: https://goo.gl/maps/qQ05q

Directions: 

Go off Ayalon (Road #20) at La Guardia going west.

1. Slight left onto HaRakevet
2. Turn left onto Derech Menachem Begin
3. Continue onto Derech Yaffo (Jaffa)
4. Turn right onto Hertsel
5. Turn left onto Ahad Ha'Am
6. Take the first right onto HaShahar
7. Slight left Onto Ya'avets
8. Turn Left onto HaCarmel
9. Find a parking spot, the big garden you see, that's the place...


On-After: None that I know of, but who knows...

And about the not finding the spot and all that shit; If you do get lost, just...

Call Fluffer@ 052-8801111

Updated Hare Roster
Hash# - Date - Hare
1108 - 6/27/2015 - Fluffer
1109 - 7/4/2015 - Gadhaffi
1110 - 7/11/2015 - Double Entry
1111 - 7/18/2015 - Dudley do Lube
1112 - 7/25/2015 - Crock Sucker?

--
On-on!
Boston Creamed
Hash Scribe
www.israelhhh.com