18 April, 2015

Down-downs for Run #1098 - Directions Hash Run #1099

This week, I am the Wanker.

Hash Scribe is "out of Israel" as we say, and was completely remiss in not sending out Hash Trash on schedule. A Down-down is in order, so take note.

Down-downs for Run #1098

I have no Down-downs to report because no one told me what happened last Saturday but one can safely assume that someone was first, someone was last, and beer was drunk.

Directions to Run #1099 (that is actually the number)

Hare: Deliverance, assistedd by tthe lovely Twin Peaks
Time: 16:00 (4:00 pm)
Date: April 18, 2015
Place: Near the Wine & More shop, 11 Galgalei HaPlada St., Herzliya Pituach Industrial Zone
Map: https://goo.gl/maps/ZxkH1 

 If you get lost or are confused call Deliverance at 050-263-4684.

--
On-on!
Boston Creamed (Dazed and confused in Sin City. Clearly in need of Deliverance!)
Hash Scribe



--
On-on!
Hash Scribe

08 April, 2015

Fwd: Down-downs for Run #1097 - Directions to Run #1098

Dearest Wankers,

Captain Caveman has kindly supplemented the Down-downs for Run #1096, so here they are:

Hare - Magically Delicious
FRB - Captain Caveman
DFL - Captain Caveman
Short Cutting - Captain Caveman
Reliever - Captain Caveman
Pointing - Captain Caveman
Being the only runner - Captain Caveman

Down-downs for Run #1097

Magically Delicious writes "Caveman and I set a lovely Passover themed trail... all the flour was lost... no wait -- the pack was blind... or drunk... or both. Double Entry was FRB, Cum Union was DFL, Just Beth showed up on bruised and bandaged knee to tell us she loves "us guys" and also beer.

Hare - Magically Delicious
FRB - Double Entry
DFL - Cum Union
Banged Up Knees / Loves Hashers n' Beer - Just Bethany ("just" right now, but not for long...)

Hash Weekend!
Ask Captain Caveman.  Please.

Directions to Run #1098

Hare: Magically Delicious... the reign of terror continues! BWA-HA-HA-HA-HAH!
Time: 16:00 (4:00 pm)
Date: April 11, 2015
Place: HaKovashim Garden, Tel Aviv
Map: https://goo.gl/maps/lF96Y

Lost? Call Magically Delicious at 053 280 5002

--
On-on!
Boston Creamed
Hash Scribe
www.israelhhh.com




--
On-on!
Hash Scribe

01 April, 2015

Fwd: Down-downs for Run #1096 - Directions to Run #1097

Wankers!

Humble Scribe is in the great state of Texas this week but from all reports, Run #1096 was a particularly shitty Hash. Just Bethany went head over heels, fell off her bike, split open her knee, and was carted off to the hospital, leaving us to muse over some new and wonderful knee/heel/bike/hospital-inspired name ideas.

Down-downs for Run #1096
Hare - Magically Delicious
FRB - Don't know
DFL - Wasn't informed
Returnees - Were there any?
Misnamers - Take a guess
Relievers - You know who you are

Hash Weekend!
I still claim ignorance. Ask Captain Caveman.  

Directions to Run #1097
PLEASE NOTE. SUMMER TIME IS HERE AND WE WILL BE MEETING AT 16:00
Hare: Magically Delicious... again!
Time: 16:00 (4:00 pm) -
Date: April 4, 2015
Place: The parking lot near Norma Jean - 23 Elifelet Street, south Tel Aviv
Map: https://goo.gl/maps/rVT7m

Lost? Call Magically Delicious at 053 280 5002

--
On-on!
Boston Creamed
Hash Scribe
www.israelhhh.com


26 March, 2015

Fwd: Down-downs for Run #1095 - Directions to Run #1096

Wassup Wankers!

Saturday's was a movable Hash. That is to say, the circle was moved several times in accordance with the sudden inclement weather -- it was sunny / rainy / sunny / rainy / sunny / more of the same. Amazingly, the hash marks did not wash away and we managed to stay dry almost till the bitter end, when the heavens opened... and then closed again.

We were once again visited by Viking, who is pretty much an H4 regular, and Hanseatic Slut of the Frankfurt Hash who taught us a new song: Germans have no sense of humor (ho ho ho ho ho ho ho)!*

This time it's real. STD is actually moving to Germany, as she has been threatening to do for months. We don't  respond well to threats. We just give in. And so, STD was given a proper F**ck-off, complete with engraved tankard and a beer shampoo. (They say it's good for curly hair!).

*That's not true, it's just  a rumor (ho ho ho ho ho ho ho)!

Down-downs for Run #1095
HARE: Twin Peaks
FRB: Magically Delicious
DFL: Ghaddafi
Visitor: Hanseatic Slut
Relievers: Just Bethany,  Magically Delicious, Hanseatic Slut, Roadkill
Pointer: Viking
Laughing Just a Tad Too Hard: Just Bethany
No Hash Gear: Afterbirth, Just Bethany
Just Because:  Captain Caveman, Dudley Do-Lube,  Double Entry, Hot Box
New Song from Germany!  Hanseatic Slut, STD,Magically Delicious
Misnaming: Just Bethany
F**ck-off, ya mug: STD
Crush the Can: Viking

Hash Weekend!

I don't know anything about it! Ask Captain Caveman! 

Directions to Run #1096
Hare: Magically Delicious
Time: 15:00 (3:00 pm)
PLEASE NOTE: AFTER THIS WEEK, WE WILL START MEETING AT 16:00

Date: Mar 28, 2015
Place: Just Beth and I are setting in/near/ dropping flour all around Apollonia national park this Saturday. Having not scouted this area in person, I'm going to guess that there will be some sort of parking lot at the park entrance where we can meet. That is to say, I'll repost to Facebook with exact coordinates when I get there
Maps: https://goo.gl/maps/bvdXe
Lost? Call Magically Delicious at 053 280 5002

--
 
On-on!
Boston Creamed
Hash Scribe

19 March, 2015

Fwd: Down-downs for Run #1094 - Directions to Run #1095

Hallo Wankers!

Double Entry writes, "1094 was a Pizza Hash. What a Turn Out for a Lousy Pizza. But after 5.5 Km of Ramat Hasharon climbs, it tasted bloody good. Some Old Timers complained about the Distance. Well . a reminder, that Hash is primarily about Running and then come all the rest. Seriously, What is this World coming to?? Some Hashers need to work on conditioning. As usual MD's genitals, marked some Road Signs, and did some fancy Baby Cart rides. What the Hell , it was fun , even though it was a Shity Trial.  Love the Mug-Thks TP. Also, Just Brad is one Mean Runner." We also hear reports that Hash Brat Yannai is finally getting used to us Hashers and really couldn't have been any cuter.

Down-downs for Run #1094

HARE:  Double Entry
FRB:    Fart Smella
DFL:    Deliverance (what a difference a week makes)
RETURNEES:    Just Lesly, Just Daniel, Fart Smella, Road Kill, Double Entry, Goldmember, Fecal Flyer & Dudley Do Lube
LATECOMERS:  Puppy Love Machine & Just Rose
HASHY BIRTHDAY: Fart Smella, Road Kill & Just Daniel
MISNAMING:  Deliverance, Magically Delicious & Double Entry
RELIEVING:  Magically Delicious, Twin Peaks, Just Rose & Puppy Love Machine
THEFT:  Goldmember (She "nicked" the shopping cart off the street because someone else would have anyway)*
CHILD ABUSE:  Croc Sucker
PICKING UP SHIT:  Road Kill  (Apparently, picked up a set of drum sticks and provided music for the runners)
FLASH DANCE:  Just Daniel
EARLY DEATH: Caveman
NO ????? (Sorry I cannot read Deliverance's handwriting**):  Just Lesly, Just Daniel, Road Kill, Puppy Love Machine & Just Rose
WELL DESERVED NEW HASH MUGS:  Double Entry & Fart Smella

*Common British slang for "stolen".  See also: pinched, taxed, half-inched, lifted, knocked off, 'fell off the back of a lorry'.
**Maybe "No Hash gear"?

SO THIS HAPPENED
On March 17th there was a Green Dress Run and it was great, in that it was a shitty trail and everyone had a good time, including visiting Copen-Hasher Viking!

AND THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN
Hash Weekend! Captain Caveman knows what's what.

Directions to Run #1095
Hare: Twin Peaks
Time: 15:00 (3:00 pm)
Date: Mar 21, 2015
Place: Parking lot at the corner of Dubnov and Shaul Hamelech (next to the "London mini-store") https://goo.gl/maps/5bZ7l
Maps: here's a Google Map for ya'll from HaShalom interchange - https://goo.gl/maps/yiG4Q
Directions:
        Head northwest on Giv'at HaTahmoshet Street
        Continue onto Eliezer Kaplan Street
        Turn right onto Dubnov Street
        Continue on Dubnov until you hit the corner of Sha'ul HaMelech
        You have reached your destination..
Or just tap "Sha'ul HaMelech 6, Tel Aviv-Yafo" into Waze.

Still lost? Call Twin Peaks at 052-8743662

--
On-on!
Boston Creamed
Hash Scribe
www.israelhhh.com



13 March, 2015

Fwd: Down-downs for Run #1093 - Directions to Run #1094

Er... whassup, Wankers!

Apologies for the delay in getting Hash Trash out. I have no excuse. Everyone was so responsible about getting Down-downs and directions in early that, apparently, I was shocked into inaction.

Here is what happened last week: We convened in Jerusalem, at the parking lot next to the Israel Scouts and were treated to some foaming nectar courtesy of our newbie brewers, Deliverance and Twin Peaks. And when I say foaming, I mean molecular cuisine-worthy suds. Apparently, something went wrong in the bottling process, blah blah blah, whatever. It tasted fine -- especially the wheat foam. We look forward to this week's batch.

We ran, we met at a halfway point, were treated to some cherry vodka, ran some more and got back to the foamy suds.

Down-downs for Run #1093

HARES:    Gaddafi & Hot Box
FRB:    Deliverance
DFL:    Boston Creamed
RETURNEES:    Gonad Father, Just Michael, Poposhnitzel
SHORT CUTTERS:  Gonad Father & Magically Delicious
HASHY BIRTHDAY: Puppy Love Machine, Poposhnitzel & Deliverance
SIGNAL CONFUSION:  Just Rose
RELIEVING:  Cummunion
FLASHING:  CrocSucker
BACKSTAGE DAD:  Gonad Father
OVERDRESSED (FOR THE FIRST AND PROBABLY THE LAST TIME):  Magically Delicious
NATURAL HAIR COLOR:  Hot Box
BEST COSTUME:  Caveman
FOAMING BEER:  Twin Peaks & Deliverance

And, the most important event of the Hash: Just Michael is no more and will henceforth be known as THUMBELINA.

UPCOMING
March 17 -  It's almost here! Thirsty Knights / Election Day / St. Patrick's Day / Green Dress Run
Hash Weekend! It is still being disorganized by Captain Caveman. Speak to him about the details.

Directions to Run #1094
On-After? Double Entry suggests a nice short & cozy On On picnic (with the sundown) on the grass in the park - with DE shouting [sic] pizza – so the rest to bring a Salad and/or whatever.

Hare: Double Entry
Time: 15:00 (3:00 pm)
Date: March 14, 2015
Place: Netzach St Ramat Hasharon- See Map Here
Map: https://goo.gl/maps/WOcGx

Lost? Seriously? You couldn't even get that right? We've started there like a million times...
Still Lost? Call Double Entry 054-7909034

Again: Double Entry suggests a picnic so bring a Salad and/or whatever.

--
On-on!
Boston Creamed
Hash Scribe
www.israelhhh.com


05 March, 2015

Fwd:

Happy Purim, Wankers!

It was third times the charm for Magically Delicious who -- aided once again by evil minion Just Brad -- continued her self-proclaimed reign of terror.
Actually, it wasn't too bad although, of course, shitty. We interrupted a deaf acting troupe as they were filming a video, the half-way included some pole shimmying by our hare (photos on Facebook), and we were treated too some a delightful nectar brewed by Deliverance and Twin Peaks.
The working title of this beverage, by the way, is "She-Brew" but all suggestions for a final product name will be gratefully accepted by D and TP.
We ended the Hash with margaritas at Mexical. Ole!

Down-downs for Run #1092
Hares - Magically Delicious, aided by Just Brad
FRB - Captain Caveman
DFL - Boston Creamed
Virgin - Just Rose
Returnees - Ghadafi, Hot Box
False Accusation - Deliverance
Harassing the Handicapped - Just Brad
Sore & Bloated (and forgot her Tel Aviv Marathon bling!) - Just Bethany
Late Cummers - Just Bethany, Cum Union (new spelling), Just Rose, Puppy Love Machine
Total Mommy - Crocsucker
Babynapper - Twin Peaks
Misnaming - Deliverance, Ghadafi, Twin Peaks
Living Life in a Soap Opera - Puppy Love Machine
Finally Got Her Hash Tankard - Crocsucker
Marathon Haring - Magically Delicious, Just Brad
Shrinkage - Cum Union

UPCOMING
March 17 - Thirsty Knights / Election Day / St. Patrick's Day /Green Dress Run
Hash Weekend! It is being disorganized as we speak! Contact Captain Caveman for details.

Directions to Run #1093
Ghaddafi writes: Greetings, Hashers: Here's the Hash #1093. Because it will come just after the Walled City Purim celebrations,  this will be both a liver run and a Purim Hash. You may dress or not dress accordingly.
There will be an On-In afterwards at a nearby watering hole.
Costumes are optional but if you are dressing up, come as your Hash name.

Hare: Gadhafi
Time: 15:00 (3:00 pm)
Date: Mar 7, 2015
Place: The small parking lot near the Boy Scouts on Yehoshua Yevin St., Jerusalem
Map: https://goo.gl/maps/mpvm7

Lost? Call Gadhafi on: 054-697-7748 or ask a Boy Scout. They're supposed to do good deeds -- even to Hashers.

--
On-on!
Boston Creamed

26 February, 2015

Down-downs for Run #1091 - Directions to Run #1092

Hello Wankers --

Saturday's run is entitled... wait for it... wait for it... Magic strikes again!

Down-downs for Run #1091

Magically Delicious writes, "With Just Brad serving as my evil accomplice we started from Jaffa Park – in attendance Cum Union [sic], Just Beth, Deliverance, Twin Peaks, and of course my Caveman. We ran through lots of fun and fabulous neighborhoods. Just Brad and I laughed our **sses off when the pack -- as they seem always picked the wrong way to check -- had to turn back around after going down a really cool alley. I got to climb on a whale and found the 'Louis Paster' (aka Louis Pasteur) sign. HILARIOUS!"

(Humble Scribe notes that this must be particularly funny to all those many Hashers doing post-doctoral research in Candida albicans. Do the rest of us understand that joke? Don't bacilli).

Down downs were given to everyone- with these notable offenses:

Hares - Magically Delicious, Just Brad
Late Comers - Deliverance, Twin Peaks
FRB - Cum Union (I am beginning to like this spelling -- H.S.)
DFL - Just Bethany
Golden Showers (indoors no less!!!) – Cum Union, Just Bethany

UPCOMING
Feb 26 - Thirsty Knights followed by Pimps & Hos Party at Mike's Place.
THE TK HASH WILL MEET AS ALWAYS AT THE LONDON GARDEN @ 20:00. BE PREPARED TO STRUT YOUR STUFF!!!
March 4 - PURIM!!! Just pointing it out.
March 17 - Thirsty Knights / Election Day / St. Patrick's Day /Green Dress Run

Directions to Run #1092

Hare: She's baaaack. Fecal Flyer has once again abandoned us in favor of the watery deep and Magic continues her reign of terror. YESH!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Time: 15:00 (3:00 pm)
Date: Feb 28, 2015
Place: The parking lot near Norma Jean - 23 Elifelet Street, south Tel Aviv
Map: https://goo.gl/maps/rVT7m

Lost? Call Magically Delicious at 053 280 5002

HARE ROSTER
1093 07/03/2015 Ghaddafi
1094 14/03/2015 Double Entry
1095 21/03/2015 Fart Smella
1096 28/03/2015 Cumunion

We are running dangerously low! Contact SOS Dror Samuel with your requests for Haring dates .

--
On-on!
Boston Creamed
Hash Scribe