26 March, 2015

Fwd: Down-downs for Run #1095 - Directions to Run #1096

Wassup Wankers!

Saturday's was a movable Hash. That is to say, the circle was moved several times in accordance with the sudden inclement weather -- it was sunny / rainy / sunny / rainy / sunny / more of the same. Amazingly, the hash marks did not wash away and we managed to stay dry almost till the bitter end, when the heavens opened... and then closed again.

We were once again visited by Viking, who is pretty much an H4 regular, and Hanseatic Slut of the Frankfurt Hash who taught us a new song: Germans have no sense of humor (ho ho ho ho ho ho ho)!*

This time it's real. STD is actually moving to Germany, as she has been threatening to do for months. We don't  respond well to threats. We just give in. And so, STD was given a proper F**ck-off, complete with engraved tankard and a beer shampoo. (They say it's good for curly hair!).

*That's not true, it's just  a rumor (ho ho ho ho ho ho ho)!

Down-downs for Run #1095
HARE: Twin Peaks
FRB: Magically Delicious
DFL: Ghaddafi
Visitor: Hanseatic Slut
Relievers: Just Bethany,  Magically Delicious, Hanseatic Slut, Roadkill
Pointer: Viking
Laughing Just a Tad Too Hard: Just Bethany
No Hash Gear: Afterbirth, Just Bethany
Just Because:  Captain Caveman, Dudley Do-Lube,  Double Entry, Hot Box
New Song from Germany!  Hanseatic Slut, STD,Magically Delicious
Misnaming: Just Bethany
F**ck-off, ya mug: STD
Crush the Can: Viking

Hash Weekend!

I don't know anything about it! Ask Captain Caveman! 

Directions to Run #1096
Hare: Magically Delicious
Time: 15:00 (3:00 pm)

Date: Mar 28, 2015
Place: Just Beth and I are setting in/near/ dropping flour all around Apollonia national park this Saturday. Having not scouted this area in person, I'm going to guess that there will be some sort of parking lot at the park entrance where we can meet. That is to say, I'll repost to Facebook with exact coordinates when I get there
Maps: https://goo.gl/maps/bvdXe
Lost? Call Magically Delicious at 053 280 5002

Boston Creamed
Hash Scribe

19 March, 2015

Fwd: Down-downs for Run #1094 - Directions to Run #1095

Hallo Wankers!

Double Entry writes, "1094 was a Pizza Hash. What a Turn Out for a Lousy Pizza. But after 5.5 Km of Ramat Hasharon climbs, it tasted bloody good. Some Old Timers complained about the Distance. Well . a reminder, that Hash is primarily about Running and then come all the rest. Seriously, What is this World coming to?? Some Hashers need to work on conditioning. As usual MD's genitals, marked some Road Signs, and did some fancy Baby Cart rides. What the Hell , it was fun , even though it was a Shity Trial.  Love the Mug-Thks TP. Also, Just Brad is one Mean Runner." We also hear reports that Hash Brat Yannai is finally getting used to us Hashers and really couldn't have been any cuter.

Down-downs for Run #1094

HARE:  Double Entry
FRB:    Fart Smella
DFL:    Deliverance (what a difference a week makes)
RETURNEES:    Just Lesly, Just Daniel, Fart Smella, Road Kill, Double Entry, Goldmember, Fecal Flyer & Dudley Do Lube
LATECOMERS:  Puppy Love Machine & Just Rose
HASHY BIRTHDAY: Fart Smella, Road Kill & Just Daniel
MISNAMING:  Deliverance, Magically Delicious & Double Entry
RELIEVING:  Magically Delicious, Twin Peaks, Just Rose & Puppy Love Machine
THEFT:  Goldmember (She "nicked" the shopping cart off the street because someone else would have anyway)*
CHILD ABUSE:  Croc Sucker
PICKING UP SHIT:  Road Kill  (Apparently, picked up a set of drum sticks and provided music for the runners)
FLASH DANCE:  Just Daniel
NO ????? (Sorry I cannot read Deliverance's handwriting**):  Just Lesly, Just Daniel, Road Kill, Puppy Love Machine & Just Rose
WELL DESERVED NEW HASH MUGS:  Double Entry & Fart Smella

*Common British slang for "stolen".  See also: pinched, taxed, half-inched, lifted, knocked off, 'fell off the back of a lorry'.
**Maybe "No Hash gear"?

On March 17th there was a Green Dress Run and it was great, in that it was a shitty trail and everyone had a good time, including visiting Copen-Hasher Viking!

Hash Weekend! Captain Caveman knows what's what.

Directions to Run #1095
Hare: Twin Peaks
Time: 15:00 (3:00 pm)
Date: Mar 21, 2015
Place: Parking lot at the corner of Dubnov and Shaul Hamelech (next to the "London mini-store") https://goo.gl/maps/5bZ7l
Maps: here's a Google Map for ya'll from HaShalom interchange - https://goo.gl/maps/yiG4Q
        Head northwest on Giv'at HaTahmoshet Street
        Continue onto Eliezer Kaplan Street
        Turn right onto Dubnov Street
        Continue on Dubnov until you hit the corner of Sha'ul HaMelech
        You have reached your destination..
Or just tap "Sha'ul HaMelech 6, Tel Aviv-Yafo" into Waze.

Still lost? Call Twin Peaks at 052-8743662

Boston Creamed
Hash Scribe

13 March, 2015

Fwd: Down-downs for Run #1093 - Directions to Run #1094

Er... whassup, Wankers!

Apologies for the delay in getting Hash Trash out. I have no excuse. Everyone was so responsible about getting Down-downs and directions in early that, apparently, I was shocked into inaction.

Here is what happened last week: We convened in Jerusalem, at the parking lot next to the Israel Scouts and were treated to some foaming nectar courtesy of our newbie brewers, Deliverance and Twin Peaks. And when I say foaming, I mean molecular cuisine-worthy suds. Apparently, something went wrong in the bottling process, blah blah blah, whatever. It tasted fine -- especially the wheat foam. We look forward to this week's batch.

We ran, we met at a halfway point, were treated to some cherry vodka, ran some more and got back to the foamy suds.

Down-downs for Run #1093

HARES:    Gaddafi & Hot Box
FRB:    Deliverance
DFL:    Boston Creamed
RETURNEES:    Gonad Father, Just Michael, Poposhnitzel
SHORT CUTTERS:  Gonad Father & Magically Delicious
HASHY BIRTHDAY: Puppy Love Machine, Poposhnitzel & Deliverance
RELIEVING:  Cummunion
FLASHING:  CrocSucker
BACKSTAGE DAD:  Gonad Father
FOAMING BEER:  Twin Peaks & Deliverance

And, the most important event of the Hash: Just Michael is no more and will henceforth be known as THUMBELINA.

March 17 -  It's almost here! Thirsty Knights / Election Day / St. Patrick's Day / Green Dress Run
Hash Weekend! It is still being disorganized by Captain Caveman. Speak to him about the details.

Directions to Run #1094
On-After? Double Entry suggests a nice short & cozy On On picnic (with the sundown) on the grass in the park - with DE shouting [sic] pizza – so the rest to bring a Salad and/or whatever.

Hare: Double Entry
Time: 15:00 (3:00 pm)
Date: March 14, 2015
Place: Netzach St Ramat Hasharon- See Map Here
Map: https://goo.gl/maps/WOcGx

Lost? Seriously? You couldn't even get that right? We've started there like a million times...
Still Lost? Call Double Entry 054-7909034

Again: Double Entry suggests a picnic so bring a Salad and/or whatever.

Boston Creamed
Hash Scribe

05 March, 2015


Happy Purim, Wankers!

It was third times the charm for Magically Delicious who -- aided once again by evil minion Just Brad -- continued her self-proclaimed reign of terror.
Actually, it wasn't too bad although, of course, shitty. We interrupted a deaf acting troupe as they were filming a video, the half-way included some pole shimmying by our hare (photos on Facebook), and we were treated too some a delightful nectar brewed by Deliverance and Twin Peaks.
The working title of this beverage, by the way, is "She-Brew" but all suggestions for a final product name will be gratefully accepted by D and TP.
We ended the Hash with margaritas at Mexical. Ole!

Down-downs for Run #1092
Hares - Magically Delicious, aided by Just Brad
FRB - Captain Caveman
DFL - Boston Creamed
Virgin - Just Rose
Returnees - Ghadafi, Hot Box
False Accusation - Deliverance
Harassing the Handicapped - Just Brad
Sore & Bloated (and forgot her Tel Aviv Marathon bling!) - Just Bethany
Late Cummers - Just Bethany, Cum Union (new spelling), Just Rose, Puppy Love Machine
Total Mommy - Crocsucker
Babynapper - Twin Peaks
Misnaming - Deliverance, Ghadafi, Twin Peaks
Living Life in a Soap Opera - Puppy Love Machine
Finally Got Her Hash Tankard - Crocsucker
Marathon Haring - Magically Delicious, Just Brad
Shrinkage - Cum Union

March 17 - Thirsty Knights / Election Day / St. Patrick's Day /Green Dress Run
Hash Weekend! It is being disorganized as we speak! Contact Captain Caveman for details.

Directions to Run #1093
Ghaddafi writes: Greetings, Hashers: Here's the Hash #1093. Because it will come just after the Walled City Purim celebrations,  this will be both a liver run and a Purim Hash. You may dress or not dress accordingly.
There will be an On-In afterwards at a nearby watering hole.
Costumes are optional but if you are dressing up, come as your Hash name.

Hare: Gadhafi
Time: 15:00 (3:00 pm)
Date: Mar 7, 2015
Place: The small parking lot near the Boy Scouts on Yehoshua Yevin St., Jerusalem
Map: https://goo.gl/maps/mpvm7

Lost? Call Gadhafi on: 054-697-7748 or ask a Boy Scout. They're supposed to do good deeds -- even to Hashers.

Boston Creamed

26 February, 2015

Down-downs for Run #1091 - Directions to Run #1092

Hello Wankers --

Saturday's run is entitled... wait for it... wait for it... Magic strikes again!

Down-downs for Run #1091

Magically Delicious writes, "With Just Brad serving as my evil accomplice we started from Jaffa Park – in attendance Cum Union [sic], Just Beth, Deliverance, Twin Peaks, and of course my Caveman. We ran through lots of fun and fabulous neighborhoods. Just Brad and I laughed our **sses off when the pack -- as they seem always picked the wrong way to check -- had to turn back around after going down a really cool alley. I got to climb on a whale and found the 'Louis Paster' (aka Louis Pasteur) sign. HILARIOUS!"

(Humble Scribe notes that this must be particularly funny to all those many Hashers doing post-doctoral research in Candida albicans. Do the rest of us understand that joke? Don't bacilli).

Down downs were given to everyone- with these notable offenses:

Hares - Magically Delicious, Just Brad
Late Comers - Deliverance, Twin Peaks
FRB - Cum Union (I am beginning to like this spelling -- H.S.)
DFL - Just Bethany
Golden Showers (indoors no less!!!) – Cum Union, Just Bethany

Feb 26 - Thirsty Knights followed by Pimps & Hos Party at Mike's Place.
March 4 - PURIM!!! Just pointing it out.
March 17 - Thirsty Knights / Election Day / St. Patrick's Day /Green Dress Run

Directions to Run #1092

Hare: She's baaaack. Fecal Flyer has once again abandoned us in favor of the watery deep and Magic continues her reign of terror. YESH!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Time: 15:00 (3:00 pm)
Date: Feb 28, 2015
Place: The parking lot near Norma Jean - 23 Elifelet Street, south Tel Aviv
Map: https://goo.gl/maps/rVT7m

Lost? Call Magically Delicious at 053 280 5002

1093 07/03/2015 Ghaddafi
1094 14/03/2015 Double Entry
1095 21/03/2015 Fart Smella
1096 28/03/2015 Cumunion

We are running dangerously low! Contact SOS Dror Samuel with your requests for Haring dates .

Boston Creamed
Hash Scribe

18 February, 2015

Fwd: Down-downs for Run #1090 - Directions to Run #1091

Allo Wankers -

Down-downs for Run #1090

Humble Scribe has no idea what happened last week. It was Valentine's Day and people were supposed to wear red. Probably there was an FRB, a DFL, possibly there were Returnees and Misnamers. I dunno.

What is important is that next week, February 26 is Pimps & Hos Night at Mike's Place and there will be a Thirsty Knights run!

And of course, on March 17 - Thirsty Knights / Election Day / St. Patrick's Day /Green Dress Run

But before that, there is PURIM!!! Yay!!!
It actually falls on March 4th but rest assured that Tel Aviv will be party-party-partying as of next week. 
And if you don't know what this excellent Jewish holiday is, let's just say it falls under the broad category of "They tried to kill us. They failed. Let's eat". Plus, in this case, let's wear costumes and get drunk.

Directions to Run #1091

Hare: Magically Delicious continuing her reign of terror, (Her words, not mine). Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! (Also hers).
Time: 15:00 (3:00 pm)
Date: Feb 21, 2015
Place: Midron Yaffo Park, Tel Aviv-Yafo, Israel
Map: https://goo.gl/maps/OHpts

Lost? Call Magically Delicious at 053 280 5002

Boston Creamed
Hash Scribe

12 February, 2015

Fwd: Down-downs for H4 Run #1089 - Directions to Run #1090 - VALENTINE'S DAY RUN!!!

Dear Wankers,

Turnout for the White Shirt run was huge as we were joined by Hashers, past and present, from near and far. The trail was shitty -- isn't it always? -- and there were Down-downs aplenty but it was the On-on after, at Grill Deluxe in Old Jaffa, that was the true spectacle of the day. Without mincing words, let's just say that we won't be invited back there any time soon.And a good time was had by all.

Those in possession of incriminating photographs are invited to post them to Facebook and upload them to our Picasa account.

PLEASE NOTE: Once again, the Hare has neglected to give the Hash Scribe the all-important scrap of paper scrawled with Down-downs. The following list, therefore, is recalled from memory. Deal with it.

Down-downs for H4 Run #1089
Hares - Deliverance, Twin Peaks
FRB - Fart Smella? Pig Woman? Can't remember
DFL - Boston Creamed (THAT I remember)
Returnees aka: the Ski Club - Captain Caveman, Magically Delicious, Penis Envy, Pig Woman, Shooting Blanks
Dog Abuse - Boston Creamed and Nili, STD and Teddy. Hey, what about PLM and Ninja?
Mugs - Fluffer, Penis Envy, Pig Woman, Shooting Blanks
Hashy Birthday - Boston Creamed
Single Again - Puppy Love Machine
No White Shirt - Cumunion
New shoes (they were NOT) - Pig Woman
Hash Shit (don't remember why) - Afterbirth
Misnaming or something - Running Poo
Something by proxy - Crocsucker
Somthing about lipstain - Poposchnitzel
Other random Down-downs that I can't remember - Captain Caveman, Goldmember, Just Bethany, Just Brad, Just Daniel, Just Lesly, Roadkill

Feb 26 - Pimps & Hos Night at Mike's Place. Magic has called for a Thirsty Knights run. Keep an eye on the Facebook page.
March 17 - Thirsty Knights / Election Day / St. Patrick's Day /Green Dress Run

Directions to Run #1090 - VALENTINE'S DAY RUN!!!
Given that the run falls on February 14th, Magically Delicious is in the mood for romance... sort of. "As I will be breaking in not 1, but 2 virgin hares on V-day, I think this calls for a Red Dress  but if you really can't find a dress you should at least wear red. All wankers who are still in the country should show up."

Time: 15:00 (3:00 pm)
Date: Feb 14, 2015
Place: The square on the corner of Lillenblum and Herzl streets, Tel Aviv.
Map: https://goo.gl/maps/PXc8E

Lost? Call Magically Delicious at 053 280 5002

Boston Creamed

Hash Scribe

05 February, 2015

Fwd: Down-downs for H4 Run #1088 - Directions to Run #1089 - WHITE SHIRT RUN!!!

Hail all wankers near and far! Here is what you missed last week:

It was a nice (shitty) Ramat Gan run and there was a pretty good turnout, especially considering that half our number were pissed on the Alpine piste. From what we can gather and judging from the pictures posted to Facebook, the H4 Hasher contingent over there keeps drunkenly crossing the border from Austria to Switzerland and back again, falling in saunas and -- clearly due to head injuries -- supporting the Seattle Seahawks. Go Patriots!

Down-downs for H4 Run #1088

Hares - Deliverance, Twin Peaks
FRB - Fart Smella
DFL - Boston Creamed
Re-visitor - Running Poo
Just Because - Just Brad
Misnaming - Deliverance, Twin Peaks
Dog Abuse - Boston Creamed/Nili, STD/Teddy
Child Abuse - Crocsucker, Fart Smella, Just Yannai and the newly-born Just Yarden

Correction to last week's Hash Trash
The Thirsty Knights / Election Day / St. Patrick's Day /Green Dress Run is on March 17.
Yes, that is a Thirsty Knights on a Tuesday. Is nothing sacred?

Directions to Run #1089

IMPORTANT! This weeks run is a WHITE SHIRT RUN!!!
  • You must wear a white shirt, preferably one that you don't ever want to see again.
  • You must bring money.
  • You must come hungry.
It will be an A to B run and will be totally worth your while. Trust me.

Time: 15:00 (3:00 pm)
Date: Feb 7, 2015
Place: 37 She'erit Yisrael St, (near Bloomfield Stadium), Jaffa
Map: https://goo.gl/maps/FgVeA

Lost? Call Twin Peaks at 052-8743662

On-on! (and go Pats!)
Boston Creamed